The Daily Telegraph recently reported that a council
was running free courses to help people "understand why
their dogs barked" following the publication of DEFRA
advice on the subject. The top ten reasons why dogs bark
apparently are:
1. Over-dependence on an owner, resulting in
separation anxiety.
2. Fear or phobic reaction to
sights or sounds, inside or outside the home.
3.
Territorial.
4. Attention-seeking.
5. Social -
calling to other dogs in the district.
6. To signify
the dog wants to play.
7. To signify aggression (it
is important not confuse 6 and 7).
8. Predatory or
chase behaviour.
9. Frustration, eg because the dog
did not expect to be left behind.
10. Senility.
Frankly we identify with The Telegraph's alternative
version:
1. As a good way to ruin the end of Frost so you
never discover why the retired librarian did it.
2.
To scare away imaginary foxes. Real foxes, on the other
hand, are left undisturbed to slaughter the chickens.
3. Because why would anyone want to be asleep at
3.20am?
4. To draw attention to the fact that they
missed out on the Bacon Fries during your round at the
pub.
5. Because some other dog three counties away
decided to bark.
6. To frighten off that ugly beast
they have just spotted in the reflection of the oven
door.
7. As a warning to passing aircraft that
30,000 feet looks low enough.
8. Because it's too
damned quiet out there.
9. To alert you to the
hazards posed by that leaf that has just blown past the
window.
10. Because they can.
